The Seven Deadly Sins of Negotiating

Negotiation misjudgments are often more crucial than brilliant strategies. Like the infamous Seven Deadly Sins, there are key mistakes that can doom you. Are you guilty of making any of these fatal errors?

1. Pride - Failing to Adapt Your Style

Why It's a Sin: Pride in your own approach can prevent you from adapting to different negotiation scenarios and counterparts. When you rigidly stick to one style, you may fail to see that each negotiation requires a unique strategy, depending on the goals and personalities involved.

Real-World Example: An electronics procurement manager who consistently used an aggressive negotiation style found it ineffective with a new supplier from a different cultural background, resulting in a strained relationship and less favorable terms.

Movie Example: In The Dark Knight, the Joker's ability to adapt his style to different situations and manipulate his opponents is a key element of his strategy, showing the importance of flexibility and adaptability.

How to Avoid It: Assess the negotiation context and be willing to adjust your approach. Flexibility is key to successful negotiations and can lead to more dynamic and effective outcomes.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Learn from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which helps negotiators recognize when to adapt their style based on the situation. This flexibility can lead to more successful and dynamic negotiation outcomes.

2. Greed - Thinking It's a Zero-Sum Game

Why It's a Sin: Greed can lead you to view negotiations as a winner-takes-all scenario, where every gain for the other party is a loss for you. This mindset limits potential gains and hinders collaboration.

Real-World Example: Apple and Samsung's Patent Wars: Apple and Samsung were locked in fierce legal battles over patent infringements, viewing the situation as a zero-sum game. This adversarial approach resulted in billions of dollars in legal fees and lost opportunities for collaboration. Eventually, both companies recognized the mutual benefits of cooperation, shifting from competition to collaboration.

Movie Example: In A Beautiful Mind, John Nash develops the concept of Nash Equilibrium, demonstrating that when individuals consider the mutual benefits of cooperation, better overall outcomes are achieved for all parties involved.

How to Avoid It: Focus on creating value for both sides. Instead of assuming the other party's gain is your loss, look for ways to expand the pie and achieve mutual benefits.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Adopt strategies from Scotwork Negotiation Skills Training that focus on collaborative negotiation techniques. Viewing negotiations as a partnership can lead to more innovative and mutually beneficial outcomes.

3. Lust - Talking Too Much

Why It's a Sin: Just as lust involves an excessive desire for physical pleasure, talking too much in negotiations can stem from a desire to dominate the conversation. Over-talking can weaken your position and reveal more than you intend.

Real-World Example: In 2009, during Microsoft's negotiations to acquire Yahoo's search engine business, CEO Steve Ballmer's public comments about his eagerness for the deal gave Yahoo leverage to demand a higher price. This resulted in a prolonged negotiation that ultimately collapsed, demonstrating how revealing too much can weaken a negotiating position.

Movie Example: In Ocean's Eleven, Rusty uses silence and minimal words to gauge reactions and gather information, demonstrating how saying less can often lead to more advantageous outcomes.

How to Avoid It: Practice active listening and use silence strategically. Silence can be uncomfortable, but it encourages the other party to speak first and potentially reveal more than they intended.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Learn from Karrass Effective Negotiating®, which emphasizes the power of strategic silence and active listening. Mastering these techniques can help maintain a strong position and gather valuable insights.

4. Envy - Getting Straight to Business

Why It's a Sin: Envy often stems from a desire to quickly achieve what others have, leading to impatience. In negotiations, rushing straight to business without building rapport can hinder trust and understanding.

Real-World Example: During the 2001 merger negotiations between Hewlett-Packard (HP) and Compaq, both companies quickly focused on financial details without addressing cultural differences or building trust. This rush led to distrust among employees and shareholders, complicating the merger and causing prolonged conflicts that affected the integration's success.

Movie Example: In Jerry Maguire, the character learns that focusing solely on business can be detrimental. His initial failure to build relationships leads to losing his biggest account, only recovering when he engages genuinely with clients.

How to Avoid It: Build trust using the PCCP framework: Propriety, Competence, Commonality, and Positive Intent. Establishing rapport helps create a more favorable negotiation environment.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Incorporate techniques from the Black Swan Group that emphasize tactical empathy. By practicing active listening and showing empathy, you can foster trust and cooperation.

5. Gluttony - Only Thinking About Your Own Goals

Why It's a Sin: Gluttony is about excessive self-interest and indulgence. In negotiations, focusing only on your goals can lead to missed opportunities for mutual gain and damaged relationships.

Real-World Example: Boeing's cost-cutting focus during the 787 Dreamliner development led to supplier misalignment and project delays, costing them significantly.

Movie Example: In The Godfather, Michael Corleone initially focuses only on his own family's goals. It is only when he considers the broader interests of the crime families that he successfully brokers a truce.

How to Avoid It: Recognize that negotiations involve both professional and personal interests. Understanding the other party's needs helps create a more balanced and effective negotiation.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Incorporate principles from the Harvard Negotiation Institute to identify mutual interests and create collaborative outcomes. Understanding both sides' goals can lead to more successful negotiations.

6. Wrath - Letting Emotion Impact Your Judgment

Why It's a Sin: Wrath, or uncontrolled anger, can cloud judgment and lead to decisions that aren't in your best interest. Emotional reactions often result in less favorable negotiation outcomes.

Real-World Example: In 2008, during the negotiations for the merger of Merrill Lynch and Bank of America, anger and frustration among the leadership teams escalated as the financial crisis deepened. Merrill Lynch's CEO, John Thain, became visibly frustrated during the negotiation meetings due to the intense pressure, which led to miscommunications and a rushed deal. The hastily made agreement eventually led to unexpected losses and significant financial strain for Bank of America, largely due to emotionally charged decisions made in the heat of the moment.

Movie Example: In Moneyball, Billy Beane learns to detach emotion from decision-making, focusing on data-driven strategies rather than personal feelings, which leads to success.

How to Avoid It: Stay objective and keep emotions in check. If tensions rise, take a break to gain a different perspective and approach the negotiation with a clear mind.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Incorporate practices from the Schranner Negotiation Institute that focus on maintaining composure and managing emotional responses effectively. Techniques like mindfulness can help negotiators remain calm and collected.

7. Sloth - Wrong Preparation and Not Negotiating with Decision-Makers

Why It's a Sin: Sloth represents laziness or failure to take action. In negotiations, not preparing properly or engaging with decision-makers can lead to wasted efforts and missed opportunities.

Real-World Example: In 2013, Blackberry was in talks to sell the company to Fairfax Financial. The negotiation team from Blackberry, however, did not thoroughly prepare for the meeting, failing to consider alternative offers or develop a clear strategy for the sale. Moreover, they engaged primarily with intermediaries rather than directly with the key decision-makers at Fairfax. This lack of preparation and failure to negotiate with the right people resulted in confusion and, ultimately, a collapse of the deal. Blackberry missed an opportunity to secure a better outcome for the company, leading to a further decline in its market position.

Movie Example: In Catch Me If You Can, Frank Abagnale Jr. negotiates effectively only when he confronts the actual authorities who have decision-making power.

How to Avoid It: Invest time in preparation and always ensure you're negotiating with decision-makers. Being well-prepared allows you to anticipate challenges, and engaging with the right person ensures your efforts are effective.

Suggestion for Enhancement: Draw from The Negotiation Institute (TNI) for thorough preparation techniques and emphasize the importance of engaging key decision-makers early in the process. This approach helps ensure negotiations are efficient and effective.

Your Move: Break the Cycle of Sinful Negotiation

As you ponder the Seven Deadly Sins of negotiating, ask yourself: How often do I let pride, greed, or wrath steer my course in critical discussions? Negotiation is not just a battle of wits but a test of character. Consider how your approach can evolve. Can you transcend these sins and cultivate a more enlightened negotiation strategy? The answer lies in your willingness to reflect and adapt.